I’m Pregnant! My First Trimester Experience

REALLY BIG FREAKING NEWS

I have been waiting for this day for a long, long time: I’M PREGNANT! And I’m sooooooo excited! I’m going to keep it 100% real with you about this journey – the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful. But first things first – if you have suffered a loss/miscarriage, have had infertility issues, have gone through IVF, or anything along those lines, I’m so sorry and I know that every pregnancy announcement can be so painful. I want you to know that you are valued, you are loved, and you are enough.

It hasn’t been an easy journey

I really thought getting pregnant would be easy. Everything you hear as a teenager and young adult is “have unprotected sex once and you’ll get pregnant” or something along those lines. It’s not until you’re ready to actually start TTC (trying to conceive) that you are hit with the reality that it’s not always easy. Joel and I had been trying to conceive for over a year. We decided we wanted to start trying in the Spring of 2019. Now, I knew that having Hashimoto’s might make things a little more complicated but my levels were stable and had been stable for years. I had just gone through the Hashimoto’s Protocol (read more about that experience here) so I thought my body was primed and ready! But that was not our reality. Month after month, I’d get my period and I’d sob. Yes, I’d sob and bawl because I was so disappointed every single month. I felt like I was broken and that something was wrong with me. I couldn’t understand why it wasn’t “working” when I was tracking my ovulation, we were having sex on “schedule,” praying every single day, and doing all the other “right” things. It was challenging in so many ways.

After we hit the one year mark of TTC, we started getting tested to make sure all our levels were where they needed to be. While we didn’t get terrible news, it wasn’t all great news, either. But in many ways we were lucky. We didn’t have to go through IVF or any fertility treatments which I’ve heard are very rigorous, painful and exhausting. I remember having an appointment in the middle of July and my OBGYN telling me something about not having “the best” follicles and just being like… ok, another obstacle, another hurdle, another thing I can’t control but have to worry about. It felt like I was up against an impossible battle and I was feeling hopeless month after month.

But finally, there was hope

That same day I had the appointment about my follicles, I was two days late, but sometimes I was a few days late and I’d take a test to see if it was the news I was hoping for, just to get a negative pregnancy test and be super disappointed. So I didn’t know if I should take a test or keep waiting. But I knew I had one test left in the bathroom (I had gone through 10+ by then) so I was like, ok, why not, let’s just pee on it and not have any expectations at all.

This is where I get goosebumps.

It was the day after my dad’s birthday that I had the “follicle” appointment and also found out the good news. For most of y’all that know me, he unexpectedly passed away two and a half years ago and had been sick for 8 years with a brain disorder. I had celebrated his birthday the night before with Joel and I had made an Indian feast to honour him. So back to peeing on the stick – I was waiting, expecting another negative test, just wanting to know if I could have a drink or not, and then there it was. Two pink lines. Two very, very pink lines. I literally couldn’t believe it. I fell to my knees, started crying and praised God for this miracle. I was so surprised, but so incredibly thankful that it was finally happening. It felt like a gift from my dad.

I knew I needed to take another test, so I immediately ran to the store. The convenience store next to me only had $1 tests, so I didn’t think those would be very reliable (haha). I drove down to HEB where the pharmacy was closing and a cashier had to throw me a test through the steel gate thing (lol) and then I waited in a very long line (like 15 minutes long), drove back home, and peed on two more tests that said PREGNANT. So I knew it had to be real. This precious and special moment was here.

How I shared the news with Joel

Joel was at baseball practice so I had some time to process what was happening and set up a little surprise for him to come home to. I had bought these adorable Seahawks onesies over a year ago when we started TTC, knowing that whenever we did get pregnant, I wanted to have these as part of how I shared the news with him (for y’all that don’t know Joel is from Seattle and is the biggest Seahawks fan). In our bedroom, I had the onesies out, my positive tests, and a note that said “you’re going to be a dad!” When he got home, I tried to be as casual as possible and let him walk into the room, when I suddenly heard a massive scream of joy and saw Joel jumping higher than I’ve ever seen him jump. We were crying, hugging, jumping, in pure blissful joy and gratefulness. I took several videos and photos that night so I can look back over those amazing moments. We were finally having a baby, thanks to our amazing God.

The night we found out – my hair is a frizzball and Joel is sweaty from baseball but these are the faces of PURE JOY

Being pregnant for the first time

Since I didn’t really feel pregnant when I found out, I immediately started worrying because hi I’m human. I called my doc to make a confirmation appointment but it wouldn’t be until the 8 week mark, which was 3 whole weeks away aka a lifetime. Once I hit about 6.5 weeks, the nausea started and didn’t stop until about week 12ish. It was constant, all day and all night nausea. I woke up, and I was nauseous. I went to sleep, nauseous. I got the seabands, ginger lozenges, B6 vitamins, and all the other natural remedies they talk about. Nothing really helped, except for trying to snack often and drink ginger beer (and cuddling with Obie, who is going to be the best big brother!)

Being a chef and a food blogger and having food aversions to every single thing except bread, cheese and fruit was really hard. However, I had dreamt of complaining about “morning sickness” because it meant that the hormones were doing their thing and the baby was developing. So even though I was miserable, it was worth it (I can now say that I’m no longer nauseous, at least not often). I also felt lucky that I wasn’t throwing up or had HG like so many other women I know have had to go through. But I still have food aversions, and can only eat certain vegetables without gagging (which is so funny to me because I got serious about my health this year and have been eating really healthy 90% of the time).

Hashimoto’s and pregnancy

Something important I want to highlight is that having Hashimoto’s, an autoimmune disorder, affects getting pregnant and sometimes, being pregnant too. I had a flare up which terrified me and I had several breakdowns because I was so worried that something would happen to the baby. My thyroid has been mostly under control for the past several years, and was at an all time low this year (which is a good thing). Like I mentioned earlier, I got serious about my health this year – I downloaded Aaptiv and built up a great workout routine, doing HIIT, strength training and yoga 4 – 5x a week. I actually lost 25 pounds this year which I guess I needed to lose but it wasn’t my intention! However, I was feeling great and all of my clothes were 1 – 2 sizes too big on me, which was a nice feeling because I’ve never really had success losing weight in the past. I think that might have had something to do with us being able to conceive, but obviously I will never know for sure (but being at your healthiest is always a good starting point!)

Back to my thyroid levels – my TSH shot from 0.05 to 12 in just 4 weeks. I wish I had known that a newly pregnant body needs a lot of TSH to function, and if I had known I would’ve had my doctor increase my dosage so that I didn’t have a flare up. But I didn’t know, my PCP and OBGYN didn’t seem to care, and I was so scared. It wasn’t until I saw a perinatal specialist that actually listened to me and reassured me that I was ok. Basically, my numbers weren’t good, but they weren’t a reason for me to freak out because I was taking medication, so my thyroid was getting what it needed and was supplying the baby with everything it needs… But I was feeling like straight up shiz.

I had just gotten home from the appointment with the specialist who made me feel sooo much better about my Hashimoto’s flare up

So if you do have a thyroid disorder, the moment you find out you’re pregnant, get on top of your levels ASAP! Like go to your doc and get a full thyroid panel and do so every 4 weeks. When I was in the middle of my flare up, I was down the Google rabbit hole (I do not recommend doing that) and read horror stories of women who had thyroid disorders having terrible miscarriages, and I didn’t want that to be my story. But once I spoke with the specialist and prayed through my worries, I immediately felt at ease and also finally surrendered this whole pregnancy to God. He is the one who brought this miracle into our lives and I believe He will see it through.

One more thing…

Joel was, has been and always will be my rock. Every month when I would get my period, I’d go through some serious dark days, and he would comfort me in so many ways: holding me and speaking life and truth to me, bringing me my favourite comfort foods, helping distract me with games and outings, and most importantly, praying over me. I couldn’t ask for a better partner who not only supports me in the small things but in the big, life changing things too. And now that I’ve been pregnant for 13 weeks, he’s still shown me how loving and giving he is down to his core. He does so many house chores. He gets the groceries. He picks up takeout for us. He rubs my back and feet. He does SO much for me every day and I can only imagine how amazing of a father he’s going to be to our sweet little Baby MoJo.

No, we don’t know the gender yet, but even if it’s a girl she can still wear a football onesie 😉